Creating Civil Conversations

In Episode #10 of the PinLeader Podcast, Mechelle Zarou offers a refreshing and practical perspective on what it means to lead with civility in today’s increasingly divided world. As Chief People and Culture Officer and Deputy General Counsel, her role centers on shaping workplaces where people feel heard, valued, and motivated to show up fully. As she explains, her mission is simple but powerful: to “change how people feel about work.”

Mechelle Zarou, Sisters of St. Francis Chief People and Culture Officer and Lourdes University Deputy General Counsel

A key theme from the conversation is the growing challenge leaders face in navigating difficult discussions. Zarou points to fear as a major barrier - fear of saying the wrong thing or creating conflict. Yet, she emphasizes that disagreement, when handled well, is not a weakness but a strength. Reflecting on her legal background, she shares, “We came to value the other side and hearing that dissenting opinion because that’s what made our case stronger.”

So how can leaders foster more civil conversations? Zarou highlights the importance of modeling behavior. Listening first, even when it’s difficult, can de-escalate tension and invite mutual respect. She notes, “My willingness to listen softens the other side so that they become willing to listen.” This approach requires emotional intelligence and discipline, especially in moments when emotions run high.

Another critical insight is knowing when to step back. Leaders don’t need to “win” every conversation. Instead, they should recognize when dialogue is no longer productive and choose the high road. As Zarou advises, “You have to know when to exit a conversation… and say, this is going in a direction I don’t want it to go.”

Beyond communication tactics, Zarou underscores that great leadership is rooted in character. While education and experience are essential, they are only the baseline. What truly sets leaders apart is their ability to connect with others.

“To me, everything is relational,” she says, emphasizing that trust and authenticity drive influence.

Ultimately, creating a culture of civility isn’t about avoiding disagreement. It’s about engaging in it with respect, curiosity, and a shared commitment to progress. Leaders who embrace this mindset don’t just improve conversations, they strengthen their entire organization.

Presented by ROAR Productions. The PinLeader™ Podcast is an interview format show that provides effective tips to those that are currently leaders or have a desire to become leaders. A new episode is released every Wednesday.